Tuesday, June 5, 2007

You Might Be a Bass Fisherman If ...

I enjoy fishing. It has been a serious hobby of mine for nearly twenty years. I used to own a bass boat and even fished in a few tournaments. I noticed that you can spot a serious bass fisherman if you are observant. If you are not sure you are a bass fisherman or you're not sure someone you know is a bass fisherman, here are a few helpful hints. To borrow a line from Jeff Foxworthy, "You might be a bass fisherman if..."

  1. You've ever used a public swimming pool to tune a crank bait.
  2. The engine on your boat has a higher horsepower rating than your wife's car.
  3. Your truck and boat are color coordinated but your living room furniture isn't.
  4. You have more fishing rods than clean changes of underwear.
  5. Losing your tackle box will reduce your net worth by 30%.
  6. Your boat and truck payments total more than your home mortgage payment.
  7. You have ever used one of your wife's ear rings as a spinner bait blade.
  8. Your idea of the perfect second honeymoon includes Lake Fork Texas and a guide.
  9. You have a "sunglasses" tan line on your face.
  10. You have more than two years of "Bill Dance Outdoors" on video.
  11. You know Jean Claude Van Damme and Kevin VanDam
  12. You can cast a spinner bait into a hula hoop at 50' by the full moon, but you can't hit the toilet at point blank range in broad daylight.
  13. You refuse to help with your child's 2:00 a.m. feeding, but you will get up at 1:30 a.m. to be at the tournament launch ramp on time.
  14. You've ever missed work to attend a BassMaster or FLW tournament weigh-in.
  15. The catalog operator at Bass Pro Shops knows your voice and calls you by your first name.
  16. You buy plastic worms by the pound.
  17. Your boat has more electronics on it than a nuclear submarine.
  18. Your kids can water ski just using the trolling motor.
  19. Your boat's engine gets better maintenance than your wife's car.
  20. Your boat gets more attention than your wife.
  21. All of your credit cards are tied to "Outdoors" reward programs.
  22. The only shirts in your wardrobe with collars have embroidered patches from fishing sponsors on them.
  23. Your investment in fishing tackle would put your first child through college.
  24. You own more tackle boxes than your wife owns purses.
  25. The local tackle shop owner calls you when he is low on inventory.

I'm sure by now you have determined that either you are a bass fisherman or you know one. We're a rather eccentric group, but we're a lot of fun to be around. See ya on the water.