Friday, March 14, 2008

Almost An Idol

If you've read very many of the posts on this blog, you know that I am a fan of American Idol. I know that it sounds strange to some of you that a man my age finds this show entertaining. Well, I've always liked music, I grew up with the variety shows of the late 50's and early 60's, and I watch too much television. American Idol is a show that we love to hate. Many of the fans say they don't like the judges, they don't like the voting system, and they don't like most of the "Theme" nights when contestants must pick songs from a certain era or genre. Still, we tune in every week to see who will trash a Beatles song, who will get unfairly eliminated, and which undeserving contestant is safe for another week. So, I was thinking, why not develop another show.

Let's call it Almost An Idol. It would be made up of contestants that finished no higher than fifth place on the main show and a few of those that we believe got the shaft and didn't make either the top 24 or got voted off before making the top 12. We would get to see Sanjaya, John Peter Lewis, Haley Scarnato, Antonella Barba, Patrick Hall, Kevin Covias, Scott Savol, Melissa McGhee, Mikalah Gordon, and Chris Sligh again. Theme nights could include, Songs from the Partridge Family, The Best of th 40's swing music, Pop Diva tunes (only Mariah, Celene, and Whitney Songs), One hit Wonders, Music from Disney Movies, Commercial Jingles of the 70's and Songs from "America's Got Talent." One of the blogs that I read and link to, Dave the High Lord, has a great suggestion for a theme night. It is called "Screw Your Buddy Night". The contestants pick the songs for other contestants. Dave also originated the idea of "The Wheel of Death." There is a large wheel with songs from every theme on it. The contestant spins the wheel, and sings the song that they spin. That's way too much fun.

Judges should probably be former contestants who finished in the final four, but whose careers have never taken off. Judges might include Jasmine Trias, Justin Guarini, and Anthony Fedorov. Judges might also be second tier entertainers, just like the real Idol. Instead of Simon, we could get a former head judge from the Westminster Kennel Club Dog show.

On this show we will vote for the one person we want eliminated. When a person has been eliminated they must admit to America (similar to Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader) that they have had their fifteen minutes of fame and will not bother us with their lack of talent again.
The winner must admit that they have had much more than their fifteen minutes of fame, appear on Letterman's "Stupid Human Tricks", play themselves in a SNL skit, and sing the National Anthem at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Then, they must never bother us again.
Well, that's as far as I have thought it out. If you have any ideas, feel free to contribute.

And now our inspirational song for the week. I return to the master of the hymn, Tennessee Ernie Ford and a classic hymn "Rock of Ages." Enjoy.


TLR said...

Maybe Judge Judy

That is a great idea Driller

Amy said...

Love the SNL - then they can make fun of themselves and the whole American Idol process. That could be a running gag.

jennifer said...

I like it. It could be a good summer series.

But I would insist upon adding Rodesia Eaves and Juanita Barber, two of my favorite worst contestants EVAH!


Joyce said...

Lovin the Ernie. Thanks. Brings me back to the old hymns when I was a kid. That's about the only thing I liked about Church!!

Travis said...

Now that's a funny idea.

Bond said...

I love that idea....bwahahahahaha

BeckEye said...

I see Antonella all the time. On the street corner.

I would like to participate in "Screw Your Buddy Night," provided that my buddy is Michael Johns. And as long as there's no singing involved.

Kristi Mantoni said...

I have one request, I want Sanjaya to sing the "Shasta Pop" jingle! "I wannna pop-op-op I wanna a Shhhhhhhh-Shasta!" I idea for the judges is excellent as well. Also, we need to include Tami Gosnell from last season. She didn't make the top 24 but should have! Her CD is great!

You're almost right about the next three to go but I would change it to four and add Syesha. And, as far as I'm concerned, they could all leave tonight. That would be a shocker! I hope Amanda makes the tour because that would attract a whole new audience. I can see it now, Harley biker dude next to a 12 year old and her mom! (Or a 12 year old and her grandpa!)

laura said...

OOOH - I have a few theme ideas:

Milli Vanilli night - aka, an exercise in lip synching.

One Hit Wonder night.

Your idea sounds great - Almost like an Idol All-Stars like they did on Survivor. Anyone who didn't get a record deal who has been on the show. I would root for Vonzell again - I loved her and she hasn't been up to much since.